Sunday, December 09, 2012

Thinking about my family & friends.

I look to my right my grandma (she is 88) is getting over a surgery so she sleeps most of the time... I look to my left there is my sister with the same situation... I look to my front there is grandpa (he is 93) does nothing but that's a given... I look at my back there are my parents middle aged (65/64)... tired of all the stress dealing with their own illness and their parents... 

Then there is me in the middle of it unable to move cause I don't know what to do sometimes. We need a break but we can't. It is not easy but as a family we move one and work with what we can. I don't attend church but I know that is it Thanks to God's mercy and the prayers of those that actually care that we can be strong in the middle of all this never ending chaos.

I might not want to find a job I might not want to work but there are some other things that I care and work hard for even when no one considers it working. I might argue and scream I don't want to do things but I end up doing it anyways cause if I don't no one will do it for us. So let me be that way cause I'll do it anyways in the end no matter how much I complain. 

Sometimes I want to run away for a weekend (or forever) from all this. I get tired too. But I can't cause it is my responsibility as a family member. My family comes before anything else to me... my friends know that (most of the reason why I don't go out is because there is something happening back home... and the fear of what could happen if I'm not there comes to mind -not that I can stop things from happening but I guess you understand-) And yes sometimes I don't go out cause well I don't have money -clean and simple- it is not because I don't want to go out with them.

Back to where it all started:
All this is my life since I was a kid my grandmother from mom side (she died 5 yrs ago she was 96) lived with us we had a schedule to follow wake up leave her at her home go to school... get out of school pick her up and go home. It all became part of the daily life. Then on weekends we went to my grandparents from dad side (the ones that I mentioned on the first paragraph) to visit them. 

After a few years we got older my mom's mom went to live on the states w/her other "kids" for a few years... then we only had the weekend visits to my dad's parents... all a bliss but in between we had to take them to doctors appointments do grocery and random stuff. 

After a few years... my mom retired from her work and brought back her mom from the states to take care of her. My mother had dreams of traveling since she got retired but all that was put on hold (I mean they do travel but not like they really want to). My mom's mom already on her 90s was already blind but there was something new she got Alzheimer so that meant we had to change everything. 

My parents build a house upstairs (circa 2000) so we could all live in one place since my sister and I where still at home & studying in school etc. We had to make schedules cause my grandma could't stay home alone. If my parents went out my sister or me had to stay home to take care of her. We all worked hard to get through this. Even with all this we also took care of my dad's parents you know doctors appointments groceries and so on. Mom didn't want to go travel at all cause she didn't want/couldn't leave her home with strangers. 

Then on Oct. 2005 my grandpa had to be hospitalized and while my grandmother (his wife) was visiting him she fell and broke her thigh. Therefore they were both hospitalized at the same time all while we still had to take care of my other grandma. We had to travel back and forth around 50min a few days on the week since they where hospitalized in another town. We did all this carrying with my mom's mom on the car since she couldn't stay home. Grandpa got out from the hospital a month later (mid November)  and grandma hat to stay for a few more months (until January 2006) since she needed therapy for thigh. So they all ended up living in our house. We had tree beds, three wheelchairs. The bathroom downstairs had to be re-done to our new needs. Lot of work on the house to fit all the wheel chairs. Later we had a few trips back and forth to the hospital in ambulance. Pretty sweet adventure, right?

Anyways years passed and we finally got my parents to go on a trip that they wanted (spring 2007) and left mom's mom on a Home for Elders and my dad parents back on their house with supervision from a family member. While we where on vacation while landing in Costa Rica we got a called that she passed away. I kind of felt guilt but was also better cause I felt that my grandma wanted to leave us long time ago but since we took good care of her she didn't knew how to leave us. My mom suffered for a few days but she got over it quite faster... life goes on and we still had two people to take care for. 

So after all that it is now 2012 and we had so many trips to hospital on ambulance and emergency rooms and surgeries good news and bad news (my dad even had cancer)... that even when it seems I got used to it... deep inside I'll never get used to it. Every time we have to go running to an emergency room / call an ambulance a new illness show up I wonder when all this will stop.

Then I look around me and see my family together... the six of us struggling living surviving all this. Even when it gets tiresome I'm some how happy that I'll be able to say that I did took care of my elders. I don't have a life of my own I've a family life. I hope people understand that I don't ignore people I only have a lot of other things to work around to be able to meet them. maybe I let all this take over but in the end I choose family over friends but that doesn't mean I don't love you or miss you guys cause I really do. It might be wrong but I was build this way.Sorry if I made you feel that way.  

Saturday, December 08, 2012

Moonrise Kingdom

After watching Moonrise Kingdom understood what all the fuss was about. 
If you haven't watch it please do so. 
Another brilliant movie by Wes Anderson. 
A simple story told by a fantastique cast. 
I also watch The Darjeeling Limited from the same director.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Holding Onto Gravity

Nell is back with their new single album Holding Onto Gravity. The album was released at 12AM today. The album contains 4 songs Coin Seller, White Night, Holding Onto Gravity and Blue. The promotional song for this album is White Night. They also release a video for this song which is kind of confusing and I think the girl is trying to fix something she can't cause she is always coming back. Anyways I will add it below so you can enjoy it too.

The 1st song Coin Seller is all instrumental but it is really inviting and gets you in the mood and sentiment to enjoy the whole Holding Onto Gravity experience. Once again Nell touches and plays with the idea of solitude letting go and loving endlessly with out regretting it.

I don't if I'm the only one that thinks like this but for me Nell's Kim Jong Wan goes through a breakup every time he is sits down to writes music. It is always the heartbreaking feeling whenever you listen to their songs. The emotions involved on it is not forced but it just flows with the songs. They take you on a roller coaster with White Night (eng lyrics) that is a little more lively but then it says can't get over you... so you sink again on the sad break up and letting go feeling. 

I read some where that this is the first of a series of albums (3 to be exact) related to Holding onto Gravity. There will supposedly be another single alum then later on they will have a full album which is what Nell haves his fans used to. And honestly I believe this was going to be a full alum but it turned out to be a single album. I am not sure if this was Nell's idea or Woollim's idea. Either way I am sure they will make it big. I know I am really looking forward to this Gravity series.

Listen to the whole album by pressing play:

Watch the MV for White Night:

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

B1A4 걸어 본다 (Tried to walk)

This is one of the prettiest videos I have seen. I am not a flower girl but I really loved the gardens and the whole meaning of the video/song. If you care to know what the meaning/story of the song you can read the lyrics here

Saturday, November 24, 2012

B1A4 In The Wind

It is here. Finally here. After two weeks of waiting for my album it finally arrived. I am a happy BANA. I pre ordered the album just in case it went sold out. I am still missing the poster but it shold be arriving on Monday or Tuesday. I already made a review of the album here. I'm also thrilled cause I got CNU's photo card. Now I'm only missing Gongchan's card and I can say I god a different one from every album they have done. I only have Baro "repeated" cause his photo card came on their Japanese full album 1 -which you can check out here-.

It looks so gorgeous and I loved the photo book. I tried to take a video of the photo album. Not sure if it will help at all but there it is. I hope you enjoy it. I'm also waiting for a dustcap for my cellphone and the Star1 magazine where they just come out. those should be home around my birthday... date.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Carrot Cake.

Happy Thanksgiving! This year I'm celebrating the holiday with some friends so we will be house hopping visiting them. Parents are out on vacation so it makes no sense to do a full dinner for 2, right? Since we are going to a friends house and my friend mom loves carrot cake I decided I would make one and give it to her for the whole dinner thing. It is the first time I do a carrot cake. 

I added 2 grated carrots. 1 tbs of cinnamon, 1/2 cup of raisins and 1/2 of pecans to a box of carrot cake mix with all the ingredients the box asks. The frosting is those that you buy on the super market so nothing special there. I did melted it on the microwave for around 10 sec and repeated until it got all liquid so I could spread it over the cake. Also I did some caramelized pecans with raisins and place it over the cake. Well here is the result.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Tried To Walk

I tried to walk but B1A4 didn't let me. Why? Cause their new album is so awesome that I couldn't just stand up keep up with life. Yes! It is that good. A total different look on the boys from head to toes. Jinyoung abandoned his wine red hair and came back with a jet black hair. Baro now haves cotton candy hair. Shinwoo CNU had brown hair with some blondish stripes on the sides but not anymore now he is back to black hair. Yey!

On this concept they really look older and grown up... they still young but they don't look childish like on their other production. They are all wearing darker shades (blacks browns beiges strong black and white plaids and so on). Actually I am having a hard time with this comeback cause they all look so dashing and fresh. Their cover is far off from what we are used it. It actually haves a more natural look as you where walking around the forest while dreaming and you find this 5 gorgeous kids wondering around. Something along this lines.

The mini album haves 8 new songs (but 2 of them are instrumentals -걸어 본다 (Tried to Walk) (Inst.)-  and the other one is -(Intro) In the Wind- therefore I'm not reviewing them). With that explained I shall tell you which songs for me are the best on the whole mini album as a whole for all audiences.

  • 걸어 본다 (Tried to Walk)
    Is Jinyoung's work and he did an so well on this one. It is really different from what we are used to. The boys are more mature the whole lyric and composition about a heartbreak is great. You can actually noticed the guys have been working hard on their singing classes and studying hard. Totally paid off on this one. Do pay attention to the song. I will post the video at the end of the review.
  • Be My Girl
    Does things to me that I can't explain. Jinyoung's solo on this album and it is AMAZING. Never thought the sweet leader would come up with such a needy and wanting song. He really wants the girl as in craving her. Whole another concept for the guys which shows that in fact they are leaving their childhood behind and becoming adults. I can't deal with the song. This song also features JeA from Brown Eyed Girls is the other part of the track that makes it work so wonderful. Very harmonious both of them and I would love to see a video of this just for the fun of it.
  • 뭐 할래요  (What you want to do) and In The Air 
    Are the "fun" songs that remind us of the happy and that B1A4 is known for. They will make you dance and "put your hands in the air and fall in the sky" believe me. Song for those moments when you need to cheer up. This two will do wonders whenever needed. 뭐 할래요  (What you want to do) features Shina-E from Humming Urban Stereo

Actually just listen to the whole album.. The other songs If... (너만 있으면) and 나쁜 짓 안 할게요 (Narr. (수지) Suzy of Miss A) (which for me is after the title song my PERSONAL favorite because Shinwoo sings a lot here. Totally biased I know) are good and you should not skip them when they are playing you will end up loving them.

Monday, November 12, 2012

XMas in advance.

This year I put the XMas tree super early. best choice I ever made I feel all XMaish now... so that is all I can say about it. Since Sondag is a very curious cat I went really simple and the tree is 4 foot tall so I can't go overboard. It looks cute and all so that is all that matters to me. To think I can't stand the holiday and now I'll have the tree up to February 2013.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Oyasumi Goodnight & [1]

B1A4 spent the whole summer on their debut in Japan. They came out with 2 singles (Beautiful Target and Oyasumi Goodnight) and 1 full album which is titled [1]. This update is about Oyasumi Goodnight and [1]. Each of the albums (singles and full albums) had 3 versions. Beautiful Target Version 3 is sold out and I wont be able to buy it since there are no more copies available... same thing happen with the full album [1] Version B there is NONE available either. Total sold out.

Since I knew I couldn't afford all the 9 copies of the summer release I just got all the regular versions of them. that way I wouldn't feel way behind on having my full collection. You might be asking why have all the 9 albums... well every version is different. Some had new songs, dvds and goodies that the regular versions didn't had. That's why as a fan you want to have all of them.

Here are the photos of my albums. Yey! I was so happy when I opened them. Also today their 3rd Korean Mini Album "In the wind" comes out and I already pre-order it. It should be home for my birthday. It comes with the album, poster, photo card and the 82pages photo book. I've only seen the cover but I am really excited cause it looks EPIC. The guys from Rainbow Bus does awesome art work for them so I'm always looking forward to what they come up with.

[1] (full album, left) // Oyasumi Goodnight  (single, right)

Oyasumi Goodnight single (photo book and random photo card)

[1] full album (photo book and I got Baro's photo card)

Japanese singles/album (Beautiful Target, Oyasumi Goddnight and [1])

B1A4 album collection (Korean & Japanese mini albums, singles and full albums)

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Answer Me 1997

I hardly every do Korean Drama reviews or post here but I just feel like I've to do one of this drama. The drama is called Answer Me 1997 (16 episodes) (Also known as Reply 1997 or Answer to 1997). I've seen a lot of Korean Dramas by now (here is the list) and I've to admit that this is one of the best dramas this year. It touched me on a personal level as a KPop fan. It does have romance but is not over charged of cute parts or a really tragic plot. This is all about the process of KPop history in the making people. Also watch the Making of Anwser 1997 -it was awesome- (I'll try to no give a lot of spoilers)

Promotional poster
This drama is set on the 1997 when KPop started to get big in South Korea. It shows you the life and devotion of the fans live and all this KPop culture. The main character Sung ShiWon  is a devoted fan of H.O.T (the first KPop boy group that made it big they where under SM Entertainment) and the "wife" of Tony An. The story starts with Sung Shi Won in high school with her friends and "ends" with them on their high school class reunion in 2012. This drama also shows parts of the so called fan wars created from the popularity of H.OT. and Sechs Kies.

They mention so many groups from that time and also some of them appear on the drama. Also many other important artist from that time make cameo appearance through out the entire drama (check the full list on wikipedia). Tony An from H.O.T is played by himself on the drama they even used the car he had back then. One of the main characters Do Hak Chan is played by Eun Ji Won who was in real life the leader of Sechs Kies (his role also tells part of his real life). Some of the other groups mentioned are S.E.S.Baby V.O.X.ShinhwaFin.K.L and TVXQ

Best thing about this drama was that I was actually back on the end of 1990s. They did everything SPOT on. The clothing/brands trend, the technology even the hair styles. Everyone had a beeper... then they all had cellphone and tamagotchi. The computer and meeting people from the internet in real life. The image loading issues. VCR editing. I went back in time and wished I was into KPop back then. I cried and laugh a lot while watching this drama. It was pretty personal for me. It really took me back to those days and miss them. The romance relationships stories in the dramas was pretty well done. Not nauseating or boring. Also the family issues where well exposed and not over done. The whole cast was amazing so you are in for a few good surprises. twists and turns. Most of them been funny but there are also more serious issues... but I can't give them all away. Really impress with the cast.

As a fan I am extremely happy with the drama. I saw myself on it even when I've not done half of what she did cause things for international fans are not that easy. Still it answered a lot of question like What to do after it is all "over"? The feeling of disbandment... many things that do makes a fan worry. People asks me Why you like them? Why you spend so much time looking for their information? What is the real deal? I hope that many people get to watch and enjoy this. If you want to know what is to be a fan of a Korean Pop group here you have a full explanation of the fans way of living. From the fights with your parents to the fights with your husband even the fights after the group doesn't exist anymore. It shows the rest of the world that don't understand what fans go trough and what fans are capable to do for the love of their fandom. I'm fan of B1A4 our fandom name is Bana. I will always be a proud Bana for the rest of my life. They own piece of my heart and I shall be there for them from now until forever. Bana Hwaiting!

Side note... Even when the groups disbanded their members are doing individual activities and their fans are still supporting them. Shinhwa is the longest active KPop group to date. They been active for 14 yrs. TVXQ is still active but then again it is one of the latest groups mentioned on the drama (2005 era). It was funny that the writers even included this "Why is SM still caring for H.O.T (the old guys) when they already have the new guys (TVXQ)" and it just reminded me about how I feel about the whole Super Junior and Exo K Exo M. (yes they are from SM Entertainment) Seems some things don't ever change.

Stuffed Green Pepper

Few days ago I was craving Stuff green peppers. Magically when I went to the supermarket they were on sale. Bought some canned chicken breast but if you can do it with REAL chicken breast it would be much much better. So I used 1 can of chicken breast, 4 oz of cream cheese, (green onions, garlic, red pepper flakes, grounded pepper to taste so you can add as many as you want) Also added some shredded cheese on the top and put it on the oven for around 20 min at 250 then 10 min at 350 (so the cheese could get all golden and crispy. This is just for one person but just multiply everything for more people. 

Now the results. (I'm not that good at giving recipes am I? Can you tell?)

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Samgyetang (삼계탕)

Samgyetang (삼계탕) is just a "basic" Korean chicken soup named Ginseng Chicken Soup. I have seen this in some many dramas and all the celebrities always mention it at some time. I remember I the first time I read the ingredients and saw ginseng chicken I was like -ouh ginseng that's something different-. Well i kept looking and found it it is quite simple to make. Among the recipes i found I decided to go with this one from -she even haves a video- The whole cooking process takes about an hour.

Note I didn't had the ginseng so I used ginger (lol!) I couldn't find the jujubes and I added a few flavors like red pepper flakes but not a lot since I can't handle too much spice. Also I didn't have the sweet rice so I used regular rice but didn't soak it for an hour like the recipe says and I regret it BIG time. So just do it. In other words I did what I could with what I had. But I'll try to get all the exact materials for the next time.

This is the stuffed Cornish hen. Garlic, green onions and ginger (yes I used ginger)

Ready for the stove

Just after taking it out from the stove. It opens easily and the meat is really juicy.

Since I didn't soak the rice after it was done I removed the hen and put the rice back on the stove alone for 5 minutes and it was all good. The flavors of the garlic and ginger combined with the red pepper flakes was awesome.

Friday, September 28, 2012


New project... I made this awesome owl. First time doing such huge pillow/toy/cushion. Had lots of fun on the process. Planning on doing more. It came out way better than expected. It is around 13.5" tall and 12" wide so it is kind of big. Parts where hand sewed others where done with sewing machine. If you would like to purchase it you can get it at my shop.

Thursday, September 27, 2012


The shop is BACK! 
For now I only have hand bags but do look forward to the shop comeback cause I am making different things this time around.

Hand bags.

Made this cute little hand bags this week. They are all unique since they wont be repeated so you don't have to worry because nobody else will have it. The insides is covered by a matching colored felt that makes the bag stronger. It fits most notebooks and notepads and other neat stuff you wanna fill them with. To keep it clean you just need to wash it on delicate cycle.  The hand bag measure is around 11" wide and 9" tall. There are 6 designs left. I already sold one. Yey!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Apron... finished.

I am taking sewing class since the month of august. Our first project was to make an apron. I already informed about this in case you didn't knew I am writing this again. Anyways I used an old bed sheet I had. It is a plaid pattern made of blue and red lines. 

Since the dominant color is blue I decided to make the details in red (buttons and the pockets) so it gets a little of attention. The professor let us do whatever we wanted with the aprons. So I made mine different. I feel really proud and happy cause I was able to do the "vivo" (piping in sewing terms) from scratch them I sew the whole thing. It looked wonderful.

After that is was all about the details. To close the apron on the back I decided to use velcro instead of the strings. I think it is more practical. Later on I added all the buttons (which where black and I painted them red) and the felt on the pockets so you can actually see the pockets. 

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Thank You. I used to like a really cool person.


This are some screen shots of A Gentleman's Dignity Ep.14 almost at the end of it. 

I'll try to don't give spoilers. Anyways the conversation goes like this:
Tae San: I just wanted to say anything for you
Seo Yi Soo: Thank You. I used to like a really cool person.
Tae San: It was an honor.
So a little back story on the conversation. At the beginning of the drama Seo Yi Soo was madly  in love with Tae San. As the drama moves on she falls for Do Jin who is one of Tae San best friends (not picture above). Seo Yi Soo and Do Jin end up breaking up because of some issues he needs to work out. (if you see the drama you will understand). 

Tae San and Seo Yi Soo at this point haven't talked at all about their "feelings" (even when at this point everybody in the drama found out... they didn't talk about it on their own they just moved on). The thing is that Tae San went to find her to cheer her up or well check up on her  to know who she was dealing with the break up since he knows his best friend Do Jin is not doing well  without her but felt it was the right thing to do at the moment.

After they have their chat Tae San just tells her that he wanted to be there for her. Seo Yi Soo says  "Thank You. I used to like a really cool person" and he replies "It was an honor".

Now... my personal take on this conversation...
I wonder if many of us would have said the same. Wah "I used to like a really cool person" that even when he didn't like me he still cares for me and the friendship we have. Also he says "It was an honor". He is finally acknowledging and accepting the feelings that she once had for him and he is there for her as she was many times for him (before even knowing about her feelings towards him).

I don't know that made me think. Like yes even when we don't like somebody if we find out they like us we should acknowledge them as a person that takes time to know us, care for us and maybe they even know us better than we know ourselves. I am not talking about stalker, crazy bitches and crazy people that go all berserk

It is a drama I might be getting carried away... I know it is just a story scripted and acted but wouldn't it be nice if everyone dealt with this issues this way. We do the same when we read books study the characters and stuff ... so deal with it. I felt this little conversation was really important for both them. I wonder if in reality are we even able to say this to someone we once liked/loved? Could we really say have a conversation like this?

Tapestry and Sewing

Last month I started taking sewing and tapestry class. So excited. I finally did a cushion/pillow with the help of a sewing machine and I also got to put a zipper on it. It might seem not that important or cool but it is for me so I had an internal party when i finished it. It looked good and the professor liked it. Had to sew one side twice cause I didn't put the sewing machine foot thingy down and it messed up but it is all part of the learning experience. 

The cushion was for my tapestry class and next week or well this week we are doing a cornice. Finally get to do some wood cutting. I am taking this class (tapestry) with my dad. He is so excited and happy we end up in Home Depot after each class and everything. Here is a side note... the class is really loud bunch of old people retired and bored in their houses are taking this class. After two classes I learned that people never grow up they just get older. They still think they are in high school. 

For the sewing class we are doing lovely aprons. I wanted to buy a cool fabric but I didn't had time so I just took an old Tommy Hilfiger bed sheet I had and used it for it. The fabric is a plaid pattern of blue and red. There is a little story to that bed sheet (no not that kind of story just in case). It was one of the first thing I bought when I started working ages ago. So I was really happy when I was able to buy something I wanted without caring too much of the price cause I could afford it. Maybe for others it wasn't that expensive but for me it was ($17 the bed sheet alone when I can get the whole set for that...) It is even quite emotional. I will put an update with photos when I finish the whole apron thing.


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