two weeks

In two weeks will be a year since the day I met you. I dont give a fuck of what people say anymore. I enjoyed very much the time we spent. I will cherish all this time that we talked and dream abuot the impossible. I will always be glad that you were honest with me most of the time. We lied to each other sometimes [you had your reasons I had mine] still we managed to get along quite well. Miles between but we always felt like right there.

I wish at some point that things werent they way they are. Well many times. That you were out. That I was around before but what does that guarantee me... NOTHING. That is right. nothing. Now we have to stick to our old lives, habits and friends cause it is the best for both sides. We can't ruin or sacrifice for each other it is not fair.

Not able to do half of the things I wish or should just because I cant and forced us to depart and ignore each other. I talk you, just listen. You talk and I just say yeah. No comitment allowed. No nothing allowed. HOw this should work then. We stick to what we know it can work better for both of us. We dont talk to minimize the damage, but behind each word the truth is felt. That love touched us at the wrong time. It could only be the need to feel loved or that some care for us but we stuck to the plan of liking but not loving just not to "hurt" ourselves.

I became your ultimate best friend with some kinds of benefits. You became the same friends with things to share from another point of view. I learned that I cant say from that water I wont ever drink cause after you drink of it you get way too thristy. Believe me. I got carried away by those first days when everything was possible and I drowned on that. If things would be different I would be with you have a family encourage myself to become a better human just because I want the best for you. Still you arent willing to sacrifice and even when I say I could try I am not really sure if I am up for that hard task of making you a better human cause I dont really know if you want to be what you dream to be.

I just hope that after this year you will remember me. I will surely remember you. I dont regret any of the things I did. I just want you to be somehow happy and go on with your life in the future to take care of your family and get a new one that will help you get thru all this shit you are in. Werever you might go have patience this are consequences of the bad choices we make. People love you even when you dont see them they do. Everyone haves a different way of loving. Like I always say to you I can only give you my friendship [I gave you a little bit more...] and now I am out of all. I am always around, you know where to find me if you want to find me.

I wish you best of lucks on your new "home". I cant be only your shoulder anymore so I am out. Call somebody else to cry to. how can you be with somebody you hardly trust and ignore those you know you can give your life to. Stupid and makes no logic to me. Sorry but it doesnt. I can play anymore not with me not with you, so bye.

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